i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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