Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
