i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
