is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
