Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
