You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
