My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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