this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
