Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
