i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
should my penis look like a turkey
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
