BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
