This house was built for laser tag.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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