I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
