I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
