All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
4 words: hood of his car
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
