i can't believe i had my finger in that
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
