i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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