we're blogging at a bar
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
