What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
