One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
one might say we're banned from that church
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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