Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
