But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
