'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
