I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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