Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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