is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
