I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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