wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
