...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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