It's like God shit irony all over that family
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
