He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
bring money and cleavage
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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