ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
