Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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