check it out our google latitudes are spooning
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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