He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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