oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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