I think i sorta joined a cult last night
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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