Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
