I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
