I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
