sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
