he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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