My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
