omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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