i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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