One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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