Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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