i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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