Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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