Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
