D3 body, D1 cock
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
