i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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