i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
